This one powerful word can envelope so so much! Good, bad, accomplishment, fulfilment, disappointment, illness, loss, beauty, art, energy, growth, love, hate, newness, oldness, birth, death, anger, joy. Having lived a few years now I know by experience that “to everything, there is a season, and a time, for every purpose under heaven”. A time to create and make beautiful, a time to pull down, or let go. A time to celebrate, and then, a time to be sad beyond words. A time to explore, a time to do stop. Perhaps that may be one of the most difficult things of all, to stop doing when we’re so used to achieving and helping, and making things happen. Simply to allow life to go on, without us.
Ok, so this is a bit of a morbid post. To be honest, in my heart I just feel silence right now. An awful silence, and honestly I don’t feel like writing anything at all. I’m sharing this post today, because I don’t know, you may have suffering going on in your life too. If it can encourage even one person to take courage, then it will be worth it.
I haven’t spoken of it publicly but since the age of 22 after a bad bout of glandular fever I have been plagued with autoimmune symptoms. It went from one thing to the next, chronic fatigue, aches, pains, you know. One of the reasons I do what I do, passionately sharing my love for organic living, wellness, nature, and healthy food is because I know by experience things that can make a huge difference to the way I feel. Most days I’m pretty good now! As long as I exercise, eat well, rest, get sun, hydrate, and detoxify.
Recently I’ve had my precious little Portuguese Mumma staying with me for a few weeks. She’s really ill, with an awful motor neurone disease that just won’t go away. So we’ve spent hours and hours simply sitting together, laying in the sun, enjoying a few episodes of Downton Abbey, yep chilling out in a big way! It’s been such a precious, yet so sad time. The crazy thing is only a few short years ago, mum was running around our 5 bedroom country home cleaning absolutely everything in sight, playing with ceaseless energy with our 3 children and laughing, so much. Mum has been the most fun, energetic, loving, hard working and incredible person I’ve ever known. I am so blessed to have my dear mother for my best friend. I love her beyond words. To see her unable to do things when I know that’s what she loves most, has been so heart-breaking for me.
One of my best friends, Amanda, who you may have seen a picture of on my Instagram, has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the liver and bowel. She’s in her early 40’s with 2 teenage children. She’s so inspiring! She’s always been able to make me laugh and even now, she’s full of positivity. That said, of course I worry! I love her, and want for her to be well. She’s opted to heal herself naturally, no chemo, no drugs, and she has an account on Instagram called Beating Cancer Naturally (I said she’s a positive thinker!!) where she shares a little of what she’s doing.
On top of this, I know first hand what that horrible word ANXIETY really means. I am the number one support person to someone I love very, very much who has suffered for years. I won’t go into details but I honestly feel for any of you going through this awful mind disease!
I won’t write anymore about the things perplexing me just now. I’ve shared this post, not for sympathy, but because I wan’t you to know I’m very human. I have struggles like you, I have physical and emotional pain, I too have heart-break and loss.
The only way I can cope, get through, keep sharing, keep inspiring, keep uplifting and loving, is because I truly believe love will find a way. Always. Love always wins, even if we can’t see it yet. I believe it. I hope you can too.
“LOVE NEVER FAILS” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:8