No Words

No Words

Loss. No words. No (real) laughter. No place to go from here. No one. Nothing. Pain. Heartbreak. Devastation. 

I’m actually more than at a loss. I don’t know how to begin sharing with you all again. So here I am anyway, typing this post which I feel won’t be expressed as it should. My head hurts, my neck and back ache, I can’t sleep.

If you haven’t read the sad news via my Instagram – my darling, beautiful, vivacious, most stunning, blonde, blue-eyed younger sister has passed away, and at this I’m utterly in ruins. She was so incredible, fun, loving, and I feel I will never be the same after losing her! It’s been six long weeks now, and I just miss her so dreadfully, nothing seems to help.

Darling Katie

Always in our hearts, forever precious Sheba Kate

But that’s not all…when I do catch my breath for a moment I remember that my gorgeous little Portuguese mother is still struggling with one of the worst motor neuron diseases…and that my wonderfully talented eldest son is pained daily with an extreme level of anxiety. You may have also read previously that one of my closest girlfriends is gripped by an advanced stage of bowel and liver cancer.

Just to top things off my youngest son just broke his leg, in three places! Oh, it’s just such crazy times! There is no torture worse than seeing the people you love most suffering is there? And then feeling almost powerless to help them! Of course I’m spending most of my time doing all that I can do to help, which is another reason I’m often absent here.

How’s your life going? If you’re human, and have lived long enough, I’m sure you too have your troubles to endure.

I’m so thankful also to those of you who’ve posted kind comments online, written letters, and shared beautiful words of comfort and healing. I read and re-read them all! I only wish my precious sister could’ve seen and read them too. She had a gold necklace bearing a cross, that she wore constantly, it now hangs about my neck, it won’t ever come off.

I’d like to stay and write more, maybe sharing some quotes of inspiration and light. I know “God will wipe away all tears one day, and there will be no more night, no more pain…” and I’m so thankful for that promise.

For now, just know I’m sending love to you all, and please, stay well! xxx

Ps. Although I hope to bounce back again in time, if one day you try to find me here (you know online, via social media etc) and I’m absolutely nowhere to be found, just know that I simply vanished back to ‘my enchanted life‘ with my husband and children forever!!! ♥

2015-10-08T13:14:13+00:00October 8th, 2015|

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9 Comments

  1. Charlotte October 8, 2015 at 2:55 pm - Reply

    Love you ma xo

    • abigail March 29, 2016 at 11:24 am - Reply

      <3 <3 you Char best girl

  2. Tajna October 8, 2015 at 4:23 pm - Reply

    ” May the sun bring you new energy every day.
    May the moon softly restore you by night .
    May the rain wash away your worries .
    May the breeze blow new strength into your being .
    May you walk gently through the world
    And know its beauty all the days of your life . ”

    – Apache Blessing

    Your light and spirit and love shine so much even now . Keep an eye on the mail . Many hugs from Tajna <3

  3. Christophe October 8, 2015 at 5:49 pm - Reply

    All my condolences on your younger sister Abigail (for you but also your mother and your whole family).
    Why such things always happens to the nicest people ?!! I sometimes find life hard, cruel, unjust ……..
    Abigail, my thoughts this morning are for your youngest sister.
    You’re a strong woman and a wonderful mother Abigail, I wish you to smile again soon.
    ( Tajna, very very beautiful words).

  4. Kahra October 31, 2015 at 12:11 am - Reply

    My heart goes out to u. Do what you need to. We are all thinking of you. Life is soo short and vanising back into your enchanted life with your husband and kids sounds like the most essential thing for you right now. I wish you all the best and if you do need to re connect with this part of your life at some stage , know that we will embrass your words when u are ready. Sending you peace and love.

  5. Christophe January 7, 2016 at 7:00 pm - Reply

    Hello Abigail,
    From France, I just like to wish you to you, your husband, your three children and your whole family a beautiful and happy new year.
    I know that for you 2015 was a dark year, I know your sadness is very deep, intense, enduring and very painful.
    Without forgetting, I think that life is stronger than anything Abigail and although for me it is easy to say, I’m sure you will go from the front in 2016.
    Hoping to see you soon with a beautiful smile, I wish you once again a very very very beautiful and happy new year.

    • abigail March 29, 2016 at 11:20 am - Reply

      Thank-you so much Christophe 🙂 <3

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